Elements of Love

Opportunities to “Show” rather than “Tell”

Caring: being as much concerned about another’s needs as about one’s own

Attachment: needing to be with, to care for and be cared for by the other person

Intimacy: having a close bond with the other person through privileged communication, whether of an intellectual, emotional, spiritual, or physical kind

Examples: coded language, distinctive hair or clothing, identifying symbol or tattoo

In order to show the effect of love in a relationship, note your characters’ reactions to the following:

1.       Time-consuming demands

2.       Potential rival

3.       Jokes/hints about sharing an intimate relationship

4.       Extended time away from each other

5.       Opinions of friends and family about the relationship

6.       Public declaration or demonstration of love

Steps to Intimacy

(From Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, The Human Zoo and Intimate Behavior)

Courtship is expected to follow a certain order.  The order itself is rooted in a combination of physical attraction and survival instincts.  For example, under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t let someone touch your head unless you trusted him/her.  In writing a romance, remember that when the normal order is violated, sexual tension occurs.  Also remember that when a relationship is shaky, one of the first gestures to go is the hand-to-head touch.

1.       eye to body contact

2.       eye to eye

3.       voice to voice

4.       hand to hand

5.       arm to shoulder

6.       arm to waist

7.       mouth to mouth

8.       hand to head

9.       hand to body

10.   mouth to breast

11.   hand to genitals

12.   genitals to genitals

Some of today’s romance novels also have a step between No. 11 and 12, i.e., mouth-to-genitals.

Sexual Tension

The steps listed above show the physical progression in an intimate relationship.  As already stated, violation of those steps creates tension.  The reason is the key to all good love scenes:

SEXUAL TENSION = EMOTIONAL DANGER

Eric Stanley Gardner’s Chart of Romantic Conflict

Parties prevented from marriage:

1.       Husband or wife dead but not declared dead for seven-year period when body not found

2.       A clause in a will

3.       Parental opposition coupled with financial control

4.       Other husband or wife living and impossible to get a divorce

Obstacle to love:

1.       Childless marriage

2.       Husband or wife in love with someone else and other spouse wants to regain affection

3.       Suppressed deceit which will ruin marriage if known

a.       Some crime

b.      Some marital deceit

1.       Past affair

2.       Adopted child (thought [natural born]

3.       Illegitimate child [although it depends how modern your story is]

4.       Relative convicted of crime

5.       Nationality

6.       Extramarital activity

7.       Double life

8.       Family feud

9.       Financial status

Poverty

Riches

Inheritance

Earnings

Royalties

Wages

Acting

4.       Husband or wife has child by prior marriage which new spouse resents, or child resents new spouse

5.       Previous alimony being used as club: for instance, woman who could work claims to be suffering chronic ailment, thereby keeping alimony alive

6.       One spouse has some bad habit

a.       Gambling

b.      Drinking

c.       Drugs

d.      Nagging [is that really a habit?]

7.       Family relatives, mother-in-law, sick sister, etc.

8.       Relatives who visit and borrow money

a.       Ne’er-do-well brother

b.      Sister who will shock friends

c.       Slick promoter relative

9.       Friends who hate one spouse and are making trouble

10.   Someone given to gossip of malicious sort, poisoning mind of one spouse

11.   Pets kept by one spouse, hated by other

The function of secondary characters

-          Mirror or contrast traits and/or goals of the hero or heroine – within the major plot and/or as a significant character in the subplot (Ex.: sitcom – “A” story v. “B” story)

-          Provide a means of conveying information to other characters as well as to the reader

-          Provide a lens through which the hero and heroine can be shown in other relationships, such as friendship, employment, parental, political, etc.

-          Provide comic relief

-          Serve as the villain

-          Illustrate the consequences of a “what if” situation or a “worst case” scenario

-          Illustrate some aspect of the time and place

-          Set up the possibility of a sequel or books in a series

In creating secondary characters:

-          Make sure their major traits mirror or contrast those of the hero/heroine.  Though the degree to which they mirror or contrast will enhance the unity of your story

-          Don’t shy away from extremes and quirks of personalities

-          Limit their major traits.  You don’t want secondary characters to overshadow the hero/heroine

-          While their goals can be both internal and external, make sure that in either case their goals aren't more difficult, their stakes not higher, than those of the hero/heroine

-          Resolve their conflicts before you resolve the romantic (internal) conflict of the hero and heroine.